You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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