Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize