I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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