If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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