So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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