I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Who died my cat blue again?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
