when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
