For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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