The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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