My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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