You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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