Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
