ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize