so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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