I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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