bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
