oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
