i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
