the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
soo... how was my night?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
