Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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