i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
