i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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