First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
