hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
