I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
