It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
