and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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