so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
