SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
