After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
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