You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
