I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm always down for nudity.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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