I need help removing her.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
