brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
