yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
