I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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