I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
