What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
