Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
