fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
...so i touched it.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
