i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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