i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
