Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
