There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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