I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
zippers are such a cool invention
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
