shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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