i will never coherently bang her
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
