I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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