I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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