Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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