So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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