What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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