Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
not ubering you a puppy
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
