Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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