also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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