The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
