i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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