I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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